Custard Vs Sweet Chilli

Enlightening moments - a pause for thought

Today I had a moment that was enlightening and euphorical…I mean I felt truley elated, yes that’s a lot of E’s so I’ll add this into the mix. I felt safe, at peace, calmer than I have in weeks, I felt like everything was as it should be. My friend said recently that he believes that everything in the Universe falls into place at precisely the right moment, and I believe he is right.

I had to go to the job centre to try and sort out all the mix ups with my benefits and JSA then walked silently to the bank to pay my credit card bill and sort out my failing finances. I was going to head to Manchester Art Gallery but knew that would result in shopping and going to the cafe in the gallery and I have to accept I do not have that money to spend. I saw in front of me St. Mary’s Church, I’ve always loved churches, not from a religious point of view but for the architecture, the stained glasses, the singing, the organ and just the feeling you get when inside them. So I went inside, I happened to arrive just before an organ recital and decided to take a programme from a lovely, welcoming old lady and sat in a pew waiting for it to begin.

Over the next 45 minutes I was at complete peace with myself and the world. I was finally able to switch off, stop worrying and feeling anxious. I let the beautiful music of the organ surrond me and stared in awe at all the art that surronded me. I closed my eyes for ages and was in astate of meditation and being not doing. I knew in my life everything would work out okay, I found answers I’d spent so long looking for. He was a wonderful and gifted musician and I want to thank him for bringing peace into my hectic life.

When it comes to religion I believe in something even if I don’t know exactly what that something is. I can never turn my back on the Church of England and the Christian inside of me because of my mother and her beliefs and also my own experiences. But there’s a lot to be said for paganism, spiritualism etc. I don’t have a problem with people being religious as long as it doesn’t take over or detroy their lifes… There is nothing wrong in believing in something even if you have no proof, after all there is no scientific proof a god exists but then there is no scentific proof God does not exist. It’s like Hypnotherapy in a way, I believe it worked for me - some call it crap and a placebo, but they’re missing the point - it worked for me. Whether it’s a load of medievil rubbish, a placebo, a false hope or whatever if it works for someone, helps them get up in the morning, gives them something to live for then as long as they’re not hurting others or themselves then where is the harm in that?

After the Organist had finished I entered the chapel and for the first time in a long time I said a prayer, for my mum and other friends and relatives who have either passed from illness or old age and those who died in motoring accidents and one who commited suicide. I asked for guidance and forgiveness, I said thank you, I got out everything I had to. I lit two candles and then when I left I felt much happier an lighter than I had in a long time and the colours in the world seemed much brighter all of a sudden…

Yes, today was a good day.